My very last cake!

You know how there are restaurants where the food is average and the waiters abuse you, and they have hotels along the same line, well - I'm opening a cake shop, and while I'm bleedin at it I'm gonna sell biscuits too!
THIS phenominal effort was created FROM A PACKET - instructions read over and over again to make sure it was going to work, I was actually shaking as I put it in the oven! Those who know my history with cakes will understand why (stop laughing Ash) - but at least I tried one more time. (shut up about the chicken caserole too big ears - I can hear you)

I called my dear friend who is completely brilliant with all sorts of exotic cakes and lusciousness, and she promptly dissolved with laughter as I described the sight of my 'cake' splitting in two and the centre oozing out, while on the phone, that layer split and more oozed out - I'd made a volcano cake! The sides meanwhile were the same size as when I poured in the mix and were cooked already. Oh how she chortled and as the cake is to have teddy's having a picnic on it, she suggested they have it on a hill - brave isn't she? She is in for a slapping quite shortly :)

The 'cake' now has triffle written into it's future, and I predict a quick trip to the Coles bakery tomorrow which is where I should have gone in the first place. Grrrrr! I might add though, that the chocolate crackles are a finger licking success. I just have to come to terms with the fact that when it comes to cake and biscuitry - I make a great curry!

I leave you with a little poem I wrote for this occasion:
My cake rack has retired, to a drawer far far away
My spatula and mixer will not see the light of day
My piping bag bereft of all that gorgeous gooey stuff
My springform pan informs me, that it has had enough
My muffin tins quite vacant, sulkily they sit
Beside the cookie cutters which have had a hissy fit
My whisk on hearing this was my last cake making day
Was heard to give a shout of joy, quite rudely I must say
I caught the measuring cups, in a victory dance
And the spoons looked very guilty, had I caught them too by chance?
The skewers having skewered, their last monumental flop
Have all nicked off to celebrate at the bottle shop
The local packet cakes no longer quake in fear
And the icing needn’t tremble now, whenever I am near
Decorate no more with dragees, no more greasing up a tin
My once loved chocolate dotty things have firmly hit the bin
No more will there be horror, in my reflection in the door
As I witness yet another that has triffle now in store
Goodbye little patty pans, in pretty shades and sizes
No more will my creations give me such nasty surprises
Farewell to little biscuits that turn as hard as rocks
Away with whatever this is now, it’s not like that on the box!
I realise the cakes I need are better off as brought
Thank god for that I’m sure I heard the cheeky scales retort
So I thank you for sharing my admission in this matter
Hi my name is Karen – and I abuse my batter!